Thursday, October 07, 2010

"Tomorrows" (part 2)

Before I get to the rest of the story, let me give a little background. I’ve loved horses all my life. I wanted to be a jockey when I was 7 years old. I probably got this idea from a book that I had read, but it seemed the perfect occupation for me. However, by the time I was 10, I realized I was going to be if not already, too tall to be a jockey. There was a brief mourning period (for about a day) until I came to the conclusion that I could still work with horses. I would just be a trainer. Yes. That was it. I still remember someone asking me, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” (For the record, when I was 3 or 4 I wanted to be a missionary, but I wasn’t reading horse books at that time.) My answer was very plain and proud, “A Horse Trainer.”

I still remember the sting of the reply that followed. It was something along the lines of “You can’t do that. You don’t have the experience, etc. etc.” Well duh, I didn’t have the experience yet. I was 10. And isn’t that what little kids are supposed to do? Dream big? In any case, I digress. I may have received discouraging remarks here and there, but I stubbornly clung to my dream and my love of horses despite assurances that I would outgrow it when I was 16. Nope. Sorry. Not me. Nuh uh. Not happening.

I never did outgrow my “horse-crazy” stage, but as I got older, and a little wiser, reality set in. That reality was that I didn’t work with horses that much, my exposure was limited, and it probably wasn’t going to ever work out. It began to be something I had to accept as a non-possibility.

When I was about 20, I ended up going to the Clark County Fair. I was by myself for whatever reasons, I don’t exactly recall, but at the end of the evening, I found myself talking with a member of the Clark County Fair Mounted Patrol. I remember it being dark, and this person was helping direct horse trailers in and out of the large parking lot. It was a really neat conversation, and I remember thinking that it would be really great to be able to be a part of a volunteer organization like that.

Fast forward a year and a half, I was working on finishing up my general studies degree at the local community college and I knew I was interested in joining up with the Mounted Patrol, or at least finding out more about them and the possibility of joining. I began to look up contact information and call some phone numbers trying to get more information. It seemed that no matter how much I Googled, nothing was turning up. I felt very discouraged. At the same time though, God was working in my life and my heart in such a way, that I began to see life in a little different way. I began to understand, with my heart, not just my head, some important truths about His love for me. I had learned that I was really holding onto this ‘dream’ so tightly, that it had become more important to me than it should have been. Through various changes and lessons, I gave up my dream. I gave it up to Christ, because I had learned that it wasn’t even mine to begin with. And I knew that if I could let go, I would find an even bigger peace and joy in knowing He was leading me where I needed to go. I don’t mean to sound preachy or romanticize it but that’s the truth. And while it is rather simplistic, I hadn’t been in a place yet where I understood this.

I still pursued trying to find a contact for the CCFMP, but knowing that if I never did, or never owned or worked with horses for the rest of my life, I was going to be OK. I would be more than OK. Because God was in charge. And I knew I could be happy in that.

And isn’t it amazing how God works? Shortly after I had come to this conclusion, I found a contact for the Mounted Patrol. Her name was Jody, and after talking with her a few times over email I decided to come to the meeting. My first time at the meeting was in January of 2009. And the rest is history. I’m so thankful I joined the Fence Riders (as we are often called). I met so many amazing people there, many of them brothers and sisters-in-the Lord, and have been so blessed by the friendships I’ve made. I’ve learned so much with them and it’s been a really fun time.

What does this have to do with my going back to school? Well, it was through this group of horsemen and women, and their friendship and encouragement that I realized that my dream of becoming a trainer, and working with horses, wasn’t as impossible as I thought it could be. It’s really their fault I’m back in school. (Well, actually, the Lord had a lot to do with it too. :-)

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

"Tomorrows"

Life is filled with “Tomorrows.” Some of them are bigger than others. Today, I’m on the brink of one such ‘tomorrow’. I don’t know what it will bring, but looking back on all that’s brought me here, I find myself overwhelmed with various emotions. Excitement. Fear. Sadness. Joy. But most of all, I find I have peace about whatever is going to happen because God has been and continues to be good.
It continues to baffle my mind (and maybe this is the way it’s supposed to be) how God has worked all things out. Nothing happens the way I expect it to, but it still works out. Maybe that is just part of the mystery of serving an all-knowing and all-powerful Savior.
When I started to think about going back to school I wasn’t prepared for all that would happen. I hadn’t yet told my parents; I knew what they‘d say, and I wasn’t ready to answer the questions or give all the details. I spent time praying about what I wanted to study (I had a general idea – something with animals – preferably horses), researching schools and programs, and going over money matters. A couple months went by and I finally was ready to talk; I planned on having a sit-down conversation. Knowing my family, I would have to actually schedule something with my parents so we could make sure both were in the room and paying attention to the topic. (That’s how it goes when it’s a busy house and everybody has something to do, or say, or needs this or that done…best to just ‘schedule’ it.) So I mentally scheduled a date to “Have A Talk.”
And then Dad had a heart-attack. (Or so we thought at the time.) It was December, the week before Christmas. My sister and brother-in-law were in town at the time. Pretty much everything flew out of my head except for worry for my Dad. Dad was in the hospital two time within 10 days. When he was released the day before Christmas Eve, I didn’t really care about anything except that he was alive and going to be ok. And I suddenly realized (yeah, big epiphany coming up here…) that life is very short. And you never know when you want to tell someone something until it’s too late. I realized that for all my scheduling I just needed to get it out – just say it. Stop worrying about the “perfect time.”
The perfect time for me came on Christmas morning. Everyone was still at the breakfast table and Dad and I happened to both be in the kitchen getting something.
“Dad.” I said. “I want to go back to school.”
I braced myself for his reaction, pretty sure it was going to be something like “Well, let’s think about this…is this a good idea?” (Not really painting a good picture of my father here, but I really didn’t know how approving he’d be of this idea…especially of the field of study I was considering.) Oh ye of little faith…
His actual reaction: “Really? Good for you!”
Me: “Well, I’ve…wait….huh?”
Him: “Have you thought about what you want to study?”
Me *mentally*: “Here we go…”
Me *out loud*: “Yes. I want to study in the science field – something with large animals. Specifically horses if I can. I’m thinking maybe a veterinarian technician.”
Him: “Really! That’s great! I’m proud of you!”
Let’s just say, this was not the reaction I had been prepared for. I didn’t have very much faith in the loving goodness of my earthly father, much less in the goodness of my Heavenly Father. Like I said – oh ye of little faith!
The following weeks were another testament to me of how much He loves me. Dad sent out emails to former classmates who worked in various schools in their administration departments, asking for their help and input for me. And then he landed the big one.

(To be continued…)

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Words of Wisdom

Nancy Wilson had a great article a few weeks ago that I really appreciated. I appreciate all of them, but this was particularly helpful to me as I'm going back to school. Even though I've been through college before and kind of know what to expect, this article was very good. (I printed it out so I can keep it in one of my school binders as a daily reminder.)

You never realize how incompetent you are at (or feel about) something until you go to teach someone else how to do it.

At least that's how I feel lately. I've been given the task (really, no option here) of training two young ladies, new to my company, that are going to be taking over my job.
First, let me say this. I am a talker. I like to talk about stuff though I'm not so good at the small talk stuff...until I can 'click' with someone on a common topic, I mostly fumble about for conversation. Otherwise, I can be pretty chatty. I think I come by it genetically...I am of German and Italian decent, and well, let's just say that you can be glad I don't gesticulate wildly as some of my older extended relatives are known to do. *If I've never told you about my great-aunt...I should... ;-)

But to have to talk from 7 in the morning to 3:30 in the afternoon can be rather exhausting. And it's not just talking. It's teaching. Training. Every little step of the way. And trying to make sure you don't forget a detail or a critical process. That's the hard part. And then there's the "what if's" and "when's" that might come up after I'm not there, I worry if I'll have prepared them enough to do the job. I know I'm probably completely over analyzing things. It's not like they'll be totally sunk if something happens that they don't know how to take care of-- there are plenty of competent and well-informed people here that will help. The most I can do is give it my best and leave the rest up to God.

I can hear my dad right now "You're not the fourth person of the Trinity."
(Yeah, I know. Thank God.)

You, know, they also say that you know that you know something when you can teach it to someone else. I guess I might know a little. :^)

Wednesday, August 04, 2010

Day 16: A song that makes you cry

“The Little Girl” by John Michael Montgomery. I bawl everytime. Without fail.

Monday, August 02, 2010

Want to win a prize?

Go to Mama Chocolate and follow the rules to win a fantastic looking cookbook! (I did...) :-)

Day 14: A vacation you would like to take

Louisville, Kentucky (because once was not enough...)

You haven't lived until you've seen this view


Scotland- all of it


Santorini Greece

Neuschwanstein Castle (as in “new-sshw-van-stine” or something like that…)
Doesn't this look like it's out of a fairy tale?

Notre Dame, France

Friday, July 30, 2010

Day 12: A song that you want played at your wedding & Day 13: A guilty pleasure

Day 12: “Unforgettable” The version by Nat King Cole and Natalie Cole. (love that song)

Day 13: Um…ok…I’ll admit it…I will, on occasion read the Hollywood/Entertainment Gossip news…I’m not sure why, because usually everyone is just one big train-wreck and I read it, roll my eyes and thank God I'm not famous.

And there you have it. I posted two days because I felt like it. Also, who knows if I'll touch the computer tomorrow.

Have a great weekend!

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Day 11: A photo of you taken recently

This was taken last month at Rebekah's graduation. I think I’ve changed for the better from my description yesterday. See? No braces and at least I know how to cover up the aforementioned pimples.

*I said it again. Two posts in a row. Well, as P’dub says, “Just keepin’ it real!”

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Day 10: A photo of you taken over ten years ago

That would require me to scan something into the computer – ‘cause you know, that was before we had digital cameras….so you’ll just have to guess what I looked like ten years ago…or think really hard and you’ll remember. I was probably pimply with braces…lovely picture, no?

**I’m sorry I said “pimply” **

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Lately...

I've been on a "finishing-my-projects" spree. I suddenly feel highly motivated now that I'm going back to school in the fall.
**I don't think I've mentioned that yet have I? Yes, well, I am. I'll be attending Linn-Benton Community College in Albany, OR and studying for a degree in Animal Technology-Horse Management. I'm very excited. I don't think I've ever been this excited about going to school before.**
Anyway, since I'll be gone in the fall (I'm moving down there - living with some friends) I realized that I have several projects that are either started or materials for projects that I have 'meant' to do for a long time. I have an intense need to GET IT DONE NOW! One of my projects was to organize a major portion of my room. It took me most of Saturday and I was tired but it's such a nice feeling to have things sorted out. I love emptying drawers of stuff and finding things I didn't remember I had. (i.e. a drawer full of candles that I apparently had been saving for ___??? I gave most of them to Mom.) I finished a crocheting project the other day. Last night, I began another. I'll post some pictures after I've gotten it finished - hopefully it'll get wrapped up tonight.
I love the satisfactory feeling of checking things off a list.

Day 9: A photo you took

Olivia ~ August 2008. This was a totally candid moment - she was running across the beach and I called her name. She stopped and I clicked the shutter. I love how her shirt stands out against the sand and rocks behind her. It's a little hard to see, but she has the biggest smile on her face too.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Day 8: A thank you letter to someone who has changed your life.

Letter to my Great-Grandmother, Rena Bufe (1908-2007)

Dear Grandma,

I can hear your voice saying “Hello my Dear, and how are you doing?” I would reply, “I’m doing really well Grandma, how are you?” And your standard answer followed by that infectious giggle “Oh, I’m just fat and sassy!” Even though I knew what you were going to say, I still laughed every time.

I don’t know if I ever told you this, but I want to be like you when I grow up. Dad and Mom like to tease me and call me ‘Rena’. They say “that’s where you go it from” It being this innate strong will, stubbornness, and determination that you personified in your life. Honestly, I think that is the highest compliment anyone can pay me. This year would have been your 102nd birthday. I’m almost one-quarter of that. I think back on your life, your testimony, and am so thankful I can look back and see you as a kind of measuring stick in my own life.

I want to be able to shine wherever I go – not be afraid to talk about Jesus to everyone, be able to find the happiness in any situation, and to laugh my way through life.

There is much more I could say, but not enough time or space to write it, but I guess what I’m trying to say is: Thank you. Thank you for your unwavering faith and testimony of God’s love and goodness. Thank you for being such an exemplary Christian lady. I truly hope I can be like you someday. I’m so blessed I had the opportunity to know you and for the perspective you’ve given my life. I am so happy that I will get to see you again someday and that those days of laughing and rejoicing with Jesus will never end.

Love Always,
Rachel

Thursday, July 22, 2010

"Give Me A Day"

Ok, so I'm not much of a writer/poet, but sometimes the words are there. Sometimes it's hard to share them with people, because I know that it's not always good, and it feels scary to share the 'rawness' of my thoughts; like I'm exposing part of my soul to the world. This is a song I've recently written - maybe someday I'll write some music. Let me know what you think - Thanks for reading!

"Give Me A Day"

The ground grows harder under my feet
Walking uphill - I pause to catch my breath
I think of how my life is like this climb
And every morning I just feel tired to death.

I don’t want to get up and do it again:
Busy office, busy people and bad coffee
Each day it’s this same boring routine
And I want so much more than I see.

Give me a day to live for
One that means more than this
Give me a day to live for
The kind I don’t want to end

I compare the lives that others have
To the things I want in mine
I think how life could be so full
Trying my best just to follow the signs

I sometimes struggle and it hurts
The path is not easy to see
I get tired of all this falling down
But it’s not time well spent on my knees

Give me a day to live for
One that means more than this
Give me a day to live for
The kind I don’t want to end

But if I turn my eyes from inside
If I start looking out and look up
I can fall on the Grace that keeps giving
And that Love will overfill my cup

If I stop comparing the things that I don’t have
To the things that I’ve already been given
I’ll find joy in the days set before me
For my treasure’s built up heaven

You have given me a day to live for
This day is the one that You made
One of the many that eventually leads
To the Day that will never end

You have given me a day to live for
Today is my day to live for You.

Rachel G. Unger ©

Day 7: Five things you couldn't possible live without

This shouldn't be too hard:

1) Bible
2) Water
3) Coffee
4) Sisters
5) Music

(I will admit I was strongly tempted to put "Facebook" in there, just to see what kind of reactions I would get.) :^)

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Day 6: A Moment You Wish You Could Relive

I went to Poland a year ago for 2 weeks. I went with a group from our church, the pastor and his wife from our sister church in Salem, OR and a group from a fellow church in Langley, BC.
The entire trip was an experience I will always remember and I cherish the time spent with the saints in Poland. There was one memory in particular that is very special.

It was our first Sunday in Poland and we were in the city of Legnica - the focal point of our ministry work. We walked to church (we walked everywhere in that city) Sunday morning to a Lutheran church near the city square. (The Lutherans had already had their service and was allowing our small congregation to hold service later.) This church was the most spectacular thing I had ever seen. The interior columns were so ornate and beautifully painted. The floors and pews were made of wood, aged and polished to a glowing sheen. The stained glass windows depicted various scenes from the Bible - the likes of which I had only seen in art books or photographs. And then we sang. None of us were professional singers though some were in church choirs and local ensembles. That moment, when the sound of our voices echoed back in our ears, ten times louder than we were actually singing: my first thought was that the choirs of heaven were singing Psalms with us. It was one of the most moving and powerful moments in my life. There really aren't words to describe the experience fully. I'm just so thankful for the opportunity to have been part of that missions trip and for the amazing things God showed us while we were there. If I could go back and relive that moment on that Sunday morning, I would. Over and over again.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Day 4: A Favorite Television Program & Day 5: A Favorite Quote

Ok, so I don't watch a lot of TV. I mostly watch shows online after they've shown - often times a couple of episodes at a time. My favorite shows in the past have been Lost, NUMB3RS, and CSI Miami. But Lost and NUMB3RS are no longer airing, and CSI is on too late for me. But I will confess: I have a new favorite television show. "Chuck". Bethany and Alex brought the first season down with them when they were here last. It's hilarious. (Not for children though- for thematic elements...we just fast forward...yeah for DVD's!)

Casey: Don't worry. You're gonna be fine. Nothing's gonna happen to you. Assuming you know how to tango.
Chuck: Seriously?
Casey: Oh, I don't joke about your life


Favorite Quote (at this moment):
"There is something about the outside of a horse that is good for the inside of man" ~ Winston Churchill

Monday, July 19, 2010

Day 2: A favorite movie & Day 3: A favorite book

I have five favorite movies. So to spare myself the agony of picking one, I'll just list my top five for you here (in no particular order).

Return to Me
Chariots of Fire
The Man from Snowy River
Toy Story
The Court Jester

Do I have a favorite book? I think I have many. How is one supposed to choose just one? I think that the agony of choosing my favorite must somehow be akin to that of a parent choosing which child they love best.
Can I please skip this question? No? Ok. Fine then.

The Bible

so there....

Friday, July 16, 2010

Day 1 - Favorite Song

Polka Dot posted this 30 Day Challenge on her blog. I thought I'd participate - this should be interesting.

I don't know if I can pick ONE favorite song, but this song always hits me at just the right time: "Creed" by Rich Mullins.

The music is great, and the lyrics, well, it's the core of my faith. (I'll try and post the youtube link later...)


Here's the list of the "Challenge"

Day 1: A favorite song.
Day 2: A favorite movie.
Day 3: A favorite book.
Day 4: A favorite television program.
Day 5: A favorite quote.
Day 6: A moment you wish you could relive.
Day 7: Five things you couldn't possible live without.
Day 8: A thank you letter to someone who has changed your life.
Day 9: A photo you took.
Day 10: A photo of you taken over ten years ago.
Day 11: A photo of you taken recently.
Day 12: A song that you want played at your wedding(or was played).
Day 13: A guilty pleasure.
Day 14: A vacation you would like to take.
Day 15: A person you admire.
Day 16: A song that makes you cry.
Day 17: An art piece.
Day 18: A time when you felt passionate and alive.
Day 19: A talent of yours.
Day 20: A hobby of yours.
Day 21: Something you know you do differently than most people.
Day 22: A website.
Day 23: A way in which you want to be remembered.
Day 24: A movie no one would expect you to love.
Day 25: A recipe.
Day 26: A childhood memory.
Day 27: A physical feature you love.
Day 28: A scar you have and it's story.
Day 29: Hopes, dreams and plans you have for the next 365 days.
Day 30: A motto or philosophy.