Tuesday, June 16, 2009

All it takes...

I have discovered that it’s really hard to thank someone for something, and go on complaining and grouching and, well, being unthankful for it. (And I’m not talking about that 70’s print Rudolph sweater that’s two sizes too small that your Great Aunt gave you for Christmas.) I mean, really, if you’re truly thankful for something, you find the good in it right? Especially if I’m saying thanks to Jesus…I feel like some kind of hypocrite.

Today, in between trying not to pull my hair out, maintain sanity, and find my way upward towards the light at the end of this tunnel of paper, I found myself feeling extremely grumpy. Oh, yes, I had a smile (sort of) on my face and a fake cheerful voice, but inwardly, I was scowling, thinking how nice it would be to just ignore that voicemail, and let people know what I really thought of what they were doing to me.

Then the Voice: “You have a really bad attitude.”

Me: “Yeah. So?”
Voice: “You need to be thankful.”
Me: “For what?”
Voice: “You are blessed with work.”

It was true; I did have a really bad attitude. I wasn’t thankful. I was complaining about my work when I AM blessed with much work, and so many others are not. God is providing for me. He is teaching me. He is sharpening me. This is a training exercise in patience, thankfulness, and trust.

I had to stop this. I took a deep breath. “Thank you Jesus for this day and all You have given me in it.”

And that’s all it took. I left my desk a few minutes later to go talk with somebody about a project and then I heated up my lunch (to eat at my desk). As I got back to my desk, I paused for just a moment to survey the scene before me.
My desk isn’t small. It’s a fairly good size; I have a computer -with two monitors- and a desk that affords me about 10 feet in length of counter space altogether. Both sides of the counters had papers, file folders, and notebooks strewn about (in a semi-organized manner). My phone blinked at me, telling me there was another voicemail. My notepad-covered in various memos- sat directly under my right side monitor and somewhere underneath it, was my pencil.

“Thank you Jesus for this day.”

And I smiled. Really, truly, smiled.

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